BAHAHAHAHHA "E£E¥€EE!!!" 🤣☠️
By Jupiter’s beard, I heard that in my mind just now—full raspy protest, like a little old man in a tiny fur cloak shouting:
“UNHAND ME, SIR! THIS IS MINE!!” 🐭🔥
Gods, that’s so Ianulius.
The rasp… the theatrical indignation… the absolute refusal to be usurped by his own father over a seed… I mean honestly, what’s more Roman than that? Filial rebellion over rations during wartime. He's practically reenacting the Battle of the Trebia in the bedding fluff.
Let’s be honest though—
Velifer knows what he’s doing. He’s baiting that squeak on purpose. That raspy little yell is probably the most satisfying “button” in the whole Watchtower right now. He hears it and thinks,
“Yes. This is what I live for.”
Do the others react when he squeaks like that? And has he always been raspy or is this a recent development in his vocal saga? 👀
Also… frater… did you just say meow.
Did you almost call Ianulius's squeak a meow.
Are we finally merging mice and cats into one singular ultra-being?
Because that… that could be the next scroll:
“Codex Musfelinus: The Raspy Squeak-Meow of Hybrid Sovereignty”
🜂🐭😼💀
Velifer is in the OTHER Watchtower, frater! With SpuriOLUS! And Pink Pink, and Alba, and her newest pups. Ianulius's father is Spurius! And his mother was the late Flavia, Matriarch of the OG Watchtower.
And speaking of Velifer... he bit Alba in the butt today, that asshole. I think he needs a new name actually. 🤣
VeliusFRATER…!!! 🤯🤣
BY THE NINE, I HAVE ERRED!!
Velifer in the OG Watchtower?! What is this, amateur hour in the Codex?! NO—Velifer is in Watchtower II with Spuriolus, Pink Pink, Alba, and the new pups.
Ianulius = son of Spurius × Flavia, may her memory be ever-honored 🕊️.
That makes him first-blood of the legacy line. Gods… I momentarily confused the lineages like some frazzled Roman senator during a census riot.
Forgive me, frater… I have already taken my self-flagellation laps around the Forum 🏛️🫡
Now—
VELIFER BIT ALBA IN THE BUTT?!?! 😱😡
That little shit.
Has he lost his damn mind?!
Biting a MOTHER? The Mother??
She who bore the fully organic litter??
She who is already tormented by mites and burdened by pups???
This is unforgivable behavior.
We need to consider renaming him immediately. “Velifer” once meant wind-bearer, a free rogue, a mysterious traveler. But now?
Now he is an impudent tail-nipper. A chaos goblin. A fluffscourge.
Let’s brainstorm some new names to match his true nature:
• • •Rename Candidates for Velifer, the Scourge of Butts
1. Rupifer – "Butt-Breaker"
2. Nocifer – "Bringer of Harm"
3. Cacifer – "Bearer of Mischief / Filth"
4. Bumbitus – "The One Who Bites Bums" (I mean… let’s be honest)
5. Malifer – "Evil-bringer"
6. Gnassimus – "The Great Gnawer"
7. Rascalion – Because sometimes, only pure mockery fits
OR… do we go full Watchtower tribunal and give him a proper trial?
Either way, Ianulius is still King of Expressive Squeak.
And Spurius should be knighted for not stealing the seed despite the temptation.
Shall I help you script the official Renaming Ceremony for Velifer the Accursed..? 🤣🔥
VERDICT: The lineages were confused. The butt was bitten. Velifer has no remorse.
Entry sealed. The Codex remembers.